It's About
Damn Time You
Showed Up
We’re trying to make growing businesses a whole lot easier, quicker, less stressful and more fun – for the millions of folks who run them every day.
Updated: 21th of May, 2024
Howdy.
It looks like you like reading.
Or stalking. Or maybe a little bit of both.
We have no idea how you got to this website.
(Thanks to the homies over Apple and their pixel-killing crusade on privacy)
Maybe you read about us online…
Maybe you saw one of our scandalous Facebook ads..
Or maybe a friend told you about us.
If so, they should be given a box of soft-in-the-middle cookies.
Or a foot rub.
Anyhoo.
Your arrival is long overdue.
And now that you’re here.
Let’s not beat around the bush.
You’re here, reading these pretty little words
because you’re hungry to grow your business.
Not hear our life story.
So here’s the short version…
We got started in 2024 out of our Founder ALAGANANTHAN SRI ETHIRAJ Ethi bedroom.
Since then, we’ve been kickin’ ass and taking
names.
The numbers don’t lie.
Go see for yourself.
And now, we’re on a crusade to take over the
world.
But not in an evil way.
Alright, but enough about us.
We wanna know about you.
And…
Sorry, We Lied.
This isn’t really an about us page.
Because spending our time filling this page up with humble brags would be stupidly selfish.
So instead, we wanna make this page about YOU…
Listen, growing a business is hard.
We would liken it to, eating a mouthful of fire ants…
And that’s especially true when you approach it like most entrepreneurs do.
Through trial and error.
By ‘hoping and praying:
By stumbling, and trying to figure it all out by
themselves – for the very first time.
We call this “guesswork”.
Also known as hell.
It’s hot and muggy there.
And smells like cheese and feet.
And we’d rather rub scorpion chillies in our eyes
than operate my business that way.
But like we said, this seriously isn’t about us.
Which ultimately, leads us to you…
You’re reading this right now because, in some
way shape or form, your business isn’t where you
want it to be.
Or maybe you’re already flying…and you simply
want more.
More security.
More money.
More freedom.
More certainty.
More memories.
More time with your family.
More legroom.
More business class flights with your spouse to
places that result in more sand between your toes.
Whatever it is for you…
Let us put this question to you…
WHAT IF THERE'S A
BETTER WAY...
What if you could remove the guesswork…
And end this nightmare.
What if you had a proven roadmap to get exactly
where you wanna go?
Well, that’s the exact reason we created King
Kong.
To solve this problem.
To murder it with a chainsaw.
You see, everything we do at Getnos is
designed with a ruthless focus on results.
We’re not interested in “kumbaya” inspiration.
We’re not interested in sitting around, drinking
herbal tea and circle-jerking over how many
impressions or views we got.
We want you to succeed.
So you can take care of your loved ones.
So we can look good and get more clients.
So we can take care of our loved ones.
It’s a virtuous cycle. A positive network effect. A
flywheel.
And It’s our way of making a difference in this
batshit crazy world.
That means that every single strategy and tactic
we deploy works.
Because we’ve tested it (and tested it again) in our
own business.
And on hundreds of our client’s businesses, too.
Anyways, if that isn’t enough to ‘move’ you.
Nothing will know this…
If you keep doing what you are doing, you are
going to keep getting what you are getting.
Period. End of story.
So…
DON’T SPEND YOUR
WEEKENDS WORRYING
ABOUT WORK ANYMORE...
Because life’s too short.
Look, you’re young (maybe you’re old) and a little
birdie told us…
You’ve spent countless hours online scouring the
darkest corners of the internet…
Reading the works of dozens of so-called “gurus”.
Downloading the latest ebooks, reading blogs,
watching webinars, YouTube videos, doing
courses…
Learning about…
SEO, meta-tags, keywords, Google analytics,
Facebook ads, pixels, backlinks, opt-in pages,
double opt-in lists, email sequences, remarketing
and copywriting…
Tools to do this, tools to do that, files for this,
pixels for that…
And then…
“Oh my gosh! I discovered another marketing
guy who says…”
And on, and on, and on!
*sighs*
After all of this “education’, the hours and hours of
effort, self-sacrifice, money invested, dedication,
and tenacity…
Not to mention the never-ending employee issues
and the everyday challenges of life.
This causes your head to be so full of so much
mush…
That you feel like your only options are to give up,
throw up, Cry…Or…
Chuck your MacBook out the window and
scream…
But, my question for you is this…
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
HYPER GROWTH AND SLOW
GROWTH COMPANIES IS...
The skill sets they have to make it happen.
And the number one skill that fast-growth
companies possess is…
The ability to consistently and predictably get new
customers…
From Monday to Sunday. January to December.
24/7, 365.
In other words, they have a “selling system” that
gets ‘em customer’s like clockwork.
Because customer acquisition is the engine that
propels a company forward.
It’s the grease on the wheels.
And It’s also the antidote…
To not having to worry.
To not have your hair go fifty shades of grey, from
all the stress about where the money will come
from.
And It’s what took us from being a one-man army,
cold-calling strangers from a rented bedroom…
To building the #17 fastest-growing company in
the country (across all industries) as ranked by
The Australian Financial Review.
That’s what having a “selling system” can do for
you.
It’s your ticket to freedom…
Your ticket to not having to worry about where
your next customer will come from.
Your ticket to sleeping like a Siberian brown bear
at night.
Your ticket to a better life.
And here’s the good bit…
We’ve developed a unique platform that gives you
access to this ‘selling system’.
It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen or heard
about before.
And we’ve now used it in over 500+ different
industries and niches…
Yep, we’ve cooked up the secret sauce for
growing companies at breakneck speed.
And it all starts with our “platform”.
THE MOST RUTHLESSLY EFFECTIVE
PLATFORM FOR RAPIDLY SCALING
BUSINESSES ON PLANET EARTH
Our mission is to help you turn your unreliable,
time-hungry vampire of a business into a semi-
automated freedom machine. And we aren’t just
in a league of our own, we are the league—and
we want you in it.
woo woo,ra ra and
hoopla aside...
We’re just trying to make growing businesses a whole lot easier…
Quicker, less stressful and more fun – for the millions of folks who run them every day.
This is a movement that begins and ends with a community of renegades, demanding a better way.
This is a movement that begins and ends with a community of renegades, demanding a better way.
One that extends its middle finger to traditional ad agencies…
And the conventional ways of growing a business, that are letting business owners down.
Most of these people are all bark, no bite. All waffle, no syrup.
We’re stone-cold killers.
And we go by all kinds of names…
Virtual vigilantes, mediocrity murderers, status quo slaughterers, freedom fighters.
But whatever you call us…
It is our hope to shrink the amount of time it takes, for you to go from first-time solo business operator…
To fire-breathing, market-terrorising entrepreneur…
But we really don’t wanna keep talking about ourselves.
In fact, we’d really like to be talking about you.
But, we can’t do that until you hit one of the many buttons you see on this page.
So, we’re gonna attempt to “impress” you just one last time.
Here's Some Gossip...
Except It's Real
“The agency’s results-driven approach is very different to the one used by most marketing agencies. It is a scientific, numbers-driven way of winning business, which is giving Getnos an edge that other agencies may find difficult to compete with in the future.”